


my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

by Pootin



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: & awkward teens being awkward, Cuddling, F/F, Fluff, Mentions of other characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:22:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28599141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pootin/pseuds/Pootin
Summary: It’s one thing to be comforted in the harsh sunlight in front of the other girls, and another thing entirely to be held in the darkness of the night away from prying eyes.
Relationships: Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke
Comments: 51
Kudos: 346





	1. your touch brought forth an incandescent glow

**Author's Note:**

> Set sometime near the end of S1, but before Leah finds out about Nora. Title is from Ivy by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

Leah jolts awake, body freezing for a split second as visions of car headlights fade quickly behind her eyelids. With a shuddering intake of breath she slowly pushes herself up off the sand and glances around at the group in the darkness. All bar one were asleep, evident from the various snores emanating from their bodies. The only other person awake, Fatin, looks up from the fire she's stoking and fixes Leah with a curious bordering on concerned expression. 

“You good?” She asks, quietly so as to not wake the others. The flickering fire illuminates a dull glow across their bodies, casting shifting shadows across Fatin’s face that Leah finds herself transfixed by. 

She shakes herself out of her dazed state, and clears her throat. “Ye- yeah. Just, uh, old memories.”

Fatin catches on from the tone of her voice that she doesn’t want to talk about it, so she focuses back on feeding the fire. She picks up a few dry twigs from their slowly depleting pile of fuel and gently nudges it into the flames. Leah’s eyes drift towards Fatin’s hands and Dot’s words come back to her, _‘whatever that girl was doing before she got here, she wasn't half assing it’._

“So...you gonna try and sleep again?” Fatin shuffles back from the fire, dusting her hands off. “Or are you planning on keeping watch with me.”

Leah’s head snaps back up to look at the other girl, catching a glimpse of what seems like hope flashing across her face. 

“Honestly, I want to say sleep, but…” Leah trails off, mind fuzzy from the medicine she’d taken several hours ago. Fatin gets the gist of it, nodding slowly in understanding.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, the crackling of the fire and distant sound of waves crashing upon rocks keeping them company. Both of them know that no words need to be said to keep a comfortable atmosphere. 

Leah can feel sleep calling for her, her eyelids keep closing by themselves and she nearly tilts over when she fails to wake herself up in time. She can sense Fatin’s concerned stare, but refuses to look over at the other girl, she doesn’t want to worry her. All Leah seems to do these days is worry people.

This continues on for a while more, eyelids drooping and fingers pinching at skin to keep herself awake. Leah’s exhausted. Both mentally and physically. Tiredness burrows deep within her bones, and yet every morning she wakes up no better, trapped in a constant state of drowsiness. It certainly doesn’t help with her paranoia, somehow only spurring on the constant fears that rattle around in her brain everyday.

“Listen.” Fatin says, breaking the silence in a low voice. Leah's eyes snap open, and she’s grateful for the distraction. She glances over at Fatin, who has a conspiratorial smirk on her face. “I’m gonna try something right now...and I can’t promise that it’s gonna go okay.”

The corners of Leah’s mouth turn upwards at the familiar words, she purses her lips and tries to hold back the smile, but one look at Fatin’s face has her giggling under her breath. 

“Oh yeah? What’re you gonna try?” Leah nibbles at her bottom lip, a nervous habit she never really managed to get rid of. Fatin seems to choke on her words, gaining Leah’s attention, but the falter is quickly brushed aside as she regains her composure.

“I’m about to make you an offer that you can’t refuse.” Fatin leans in closer so she doesn’t have to talk as loudly. “I mean, you can totally refuse it if you want to, but why would you do that?”

Leah raises an eyebrow at her, curiosity piqued.

Fatin gestures a thumb at herself, “Big spoon.”

She then points at Leah, “Little spoon.”

“Thoughts?” The offer hangs in the air, and it takes a few seconds for Leah to realise that she’s not talking about cutlery.

“Oh, okay, sure.” The answer comes easy, easier than she’d thought it would and Leah can blame it on her lack of sleep all she likes, but she knows deep down that she’s been hoping for something like this.

Even Fatin looks slightly taken aback by the response, obviously not expecting such a straightforward answer, but it’s promptly covered up by an easy smile as she crawls over closer to Leah. They sit side by side, staring at the withering flames of the fire.

The atmosphere is calm, but Leah can sense the other girl’s nervous energy, and her eyebrows furrow slightly at it. Fatin is a lot of things. She’s confident, bold, comfortable in her own skin and unafraid to do and say whatever she wants to, but never _nervous_.

“Hey,” Leah reaches out and rubs her arm soothingly. “Are you alright?” It kind of feels odd to be on the other side of this situation.

That seems to take Fatin out of her trance. “Oh. Oh yeah, it’s just- Nevermind. It’s nothing.”

Leah’s eyebrows knit together even more, she keeps her hand on Fatin’s arm, seeking out her eyes. She looks at her, not wanting to press any further, but also wanting to let her know she’s ready to listen.

Fatin averts her eyes and rubs at her nape. “I guess I kinda just realised that I’ve never...cuddled anyone before? Like, properly.”

That surprises Leah, but then again, she supposes it doesn’t really surprise her all that much. Fatin’s been vocal in the types of relationships she seeks and has experience with, no strings attached _probably_ meant cuddling was off the table.

“I thought you’d be used to, you know uh, cuddling people.” Leah says with a stunted laugh, picking at the end of her eyebrow, then her eyes widen. “Tha-that’s not like a dig at you! I didn’t mean that in a judgey- God, sorry I keep messing-”

Fatin, thankfully, stops her rambling with a firm yet gentle hand wrapped around her wrist. She presses her free hand’s pointer finger against her lips in a shushing motion, and Leah’s eyes linger on that spot long after the digit is removed. Leah lets her pull her hand down, her breath hitching at the feeling of calloused fingertips stroking the inside of her wrist in a calming motion.

“Well, y’know just cause I sleep with a lot of people, doesn’t mean I sleep _with_ them.” Fatin says with a strained chuckle. “I usually don’t stick around long enough for that part.”

A beat of silence passes by and Leah realises that the other girl’s looking at her with an unreadable expression. She evades her gaze, eyes drifting back to the fire. Recently she’s begun to get more and more flustered by the looks Fatin gives her, and she’s not sure if it’s just her imagination getting out of control or again, or if there really is something more behind the glances snuck in when she doesn't think Leah’s looking.

“You never know, maybe it’s better than sex.” Leah says with a dry chuckle, trying to alleviate the tension between them.

Fatin exhales shortly through her nose, a small smile on her lips, and shakes her head dubiously. “I _seriously_ doubt that.” 

The silence is back and Leah starts to regret ever agreeing to this in the first place. She doubts cuddling of all things would help her figure out the mess of emotions fluttering around in her head. If anything, it'd probably make it worse.

“If you don’t want to you don’t have-“ Leah doesn’t get the chance to finish her sentence as Fatin tugs her down onto the sand with the hand that’s still wrapped around her wrist. Suddenly she’s staring up into hazel eyes that twinkle with a playful energy, any complaints about rough landings die on her lips at the sight of them.

“I never do anything I don’t want to.” Fatin whispers slowly, face inching closer to Leah’s before she adds less seriously, “Apart from when my mom tells me to.”

Leah clasps a hand over her mouth, suppressing the laughter that surely would’ve woken everyone up. She’s met with a brief, brilliant smile before Fatin flops down beside her, clearly proud of herself for having made Leah laugh. Eventually the laughter subsides, leaving Leah fiddling with the sleeves of her cardigan.

Fatin sighs contently and moves to lay on her side, she looks at Leah for a moment and reaches out to her. “C’mere then.” 

Fatin places her hand on Leah’s hips, motioning for her to shuffle back into her arms. They situate their limbs, fumbling around in the lowlight. A few _sorrys_ are exchanged as elbows and knees knock into each other, but they settle into an agreeable position soon enough.

The arm around Leah’s waist is a bit stiff, as though Fatin is hesitant of letting herself relax fully into the embrace. To remedy this Leah shuffles back even further and closes the distance between them until their bodies are pressed together. She feels warm, and knows that the dying fire is not responsible for the heat upon her face.

“Is, uh, is this okay?” Leah asks, not wanting to make the other girl uncomfortable.

She doesn’t expect the low _‘perfect’_ that rumbles through Fatin’s chest, sending vibrations throughout her ribcage, causing her heart to skip a beat. Leah squeezes her eyes shut and wills for her body to calm down, her mind’s racing and for once it’s not filled with thoughts about the oddities of the island.

A few minutes of silence pass, and it isn’t awkward really, it’s just...new. 

Fatin has hugged her and held her during her worst moments on the island. It’s not the physical contact that’s the problem, but rather the context of the situation. It’s one thing to be comforted in the harsh sunlight in front of the other girls, and another thing entirely to be held in the darkness of the night away from prying eyes.

It’s also perhaps the connotations of the action. Leah’s never had many friends, she was always far too aloof, and in hindsight, embarrassingly self righteous. Hell, she’d only just started to get used to hugs from other people once she’d arrived on this damned island. The last and only time Leah was held like this was with…

She squeezes her eyes shut as she feels a mild stab in her heart. The pain of her time with him was almost gone, but she knew there were still some dredges of emotions buried deep within that she had to work through. She hopes that when they- _if_ they get off the island, they all stay in touch. Leah doesn’t think she could handle working through the shit she’s been through alone.

Fatin must’ve sensed something was wrong because she takes Leah’s hand into her own, and absentmindedly rubs slow circles on her palm with her thumb. The action is soothing, and Leah can barely even remember what had caused her such agony in the first place. Her breathing slows, body finally at peace for the first time in weeks.

“You having fun?” Fatin asks in a hushed tone, her breath hits the back of Leah’s head and fans out down her neck. Leah’s alert immediately, her pulse quickens but she manages to suppress the shiver that runs up her spine, her mouth goes dry and she finds herself incapable of speaking without stuttering.

She lets out a hoarse _mhm_ that Fatin mistakes for discomfort, her hand carefully lets go of Leah’s, and makes to pull back. Before Leah can stop herself she’s grabbing Fatin’s wrist and keeping her in place, she feels the other girl’s chest rise and fall in a sigh of relief. Feeling brave, Leah gently tugs Fatin’s arm tighter around her, allowing her to rest her palm against her stomach. It’s terrifyingly intimate in a way Leah hasn’t experienced before.

Words aren’t exchanged between the two, but they’re both aware of the fact that something has changed between them. Something fundamental. Leah’s breathing begins to even out, and she’s not afraid of what she’ll see in her dreams.

“So, is this better than sex?” She mumbles, blush creeping up her cheeks, she half hopes Fatin doesn’t hear the question at all. Sleep is edging up on her swiftly, and she welcomes it earnestly.

Just before Leah loses her grip on consciousness and slips off into a peaceful slumber, she swears she catches a response.

“It might just be.”


	2. It's a goddamn blaze in the dark (and you started it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow so sorry for the late update! meant to post a week or two ago but uni deadlines got crazy. enjoy!

Fatin seems off.

She's been acting differently ever since that night a few days ago, and Leah wonders if maybe she’s the cause for the change in behaviour. She’d already asked Dot if she thought that Fatin had been acting strangely lately, but the other girl had simply shrugged her shoulders and shaken her head. 

It’s in the way she’s more withdrawn. Less willing to dish out hugs and more hesitant in making physical contact in general, and as pathetic as Leah sounds she misses it sorely. She misses the casual side hugs when they sat around the fire, and the comforting headrests on laps. In some way Fatin’s touch had always grounded her, pulled her out of her head and back to reality. Time passed by unbearably slowly in this place, and the past few days had felt like weeks, bleakly stretching on as the girls slowly lost what little hope they had left.

Leah wonders if Fatin’s finally having her _moment_. The inevitable breaking point that all the girls eventually reached during their time on the island. Rachel and the mirror, that had happened early on. Martha and the goat, she hadn’t quite been the same since. Shelby and her hair, though she _was_ rocking the messy half bob situation better than they all thought she would. Fatin hadn’t _quite_ hit that moment yet, sure she’d smeared her own blood all across Leah’s face, but then again she kinda had that coming. 

If Fatin really had snapped in some discreetly indiscernible way, she wanted to be there to support her. Leah wanted to give her the same kind of solace she’d found in Fatin.

But what if she didn’t want Leah to help her?

What if Leah had overstepped and made the other girl uncomfortable? She knew she could be intense. Maybe Fatin had sensed that and found it too overbearing, too much. Maybe she’d misread everything and Fatin hated her and-

 _Fuck_. Her mind was running away with itself again. She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and exhales slowly. She focuses on the beating of her heart, the feeling of the sand underneath her toes. She rationalises the situation, thinks of how Fatin acted around her, the things she said to her. _I never do anything I don’t want to...apart from when my mom tells me to._ Leah chuckles quietly to herself, Fatin was the type of person to pull away if she felt uncomfortable, she would’ve said something. Spoken up. 

That’s right. Leah hadn’t crossed any boundaries, Fatin had been receptive to her touch and she usually was the one who initiated it too. Her actions lined up with her words, and Leah found it easy to think clearly about the situation, whereas with the island none of the explanations lined up. Not the bags. Not the reappearing torso of Marcus. And definitely not the pilot who had ignored a bunch of girls stranded on an island.

Leah stands up and pats the sand off her legs, she was starting to think too much again. She needs to stimulate her mind, stop the thoughts from snowballing before they get out of control. Control was easier said than done.

Leah pulls on her worn out trainers, they’re beat up and covered in dirt from weeks of scrambling around in their harsh environment, and she feels momentarily at one with them. She stretches her arms out above her head, the sun is high in the sky, midday probably. Time wasn't linear here.

“Hey do you guys know where Fatin went?” Leah asks the others who had remained at camp, Dot and Rachel had left to collect more kindle, and Nora had gone to higher ground to watch the waves. 

“Oh yeah she went to the waterfall by herself this morning.” Martha replies, fiddling with a lychee in her hands. The tree had been a godsend for them, swooping in to save the day just as they’d all thought they’d found no surefire way of acquiring food consistently. 

“By herself?” Leah repeats the words, worry growing in her mind.

“Yup, Dottie was yappin’ on about the buddy system, but Fatin said all the markers she put up would get her there and back okay.” Shelby informs Leah in a soothing tone. She must’ve seen the subtle panic on her face. “I wouldn’t worry, that girl can handle herself just fine.”

Leah gives her a small smile. “Thanks Shelby. I just, uh, I gotta talk to her. I’ll get back soon.” She receives confirmations from the three girls, and starts making her way through the forest. 

Leah follows the various spots of nail polish decorating the trees, lightly dragging her fingers across the rough surface of the bark. Some parts were fading, and she could see where the nail polish had been reapplied meticulously.

Finally Leah reaches the clearing, and the beauty of the land before her never fails to make her pause for a second, just to truly take it all in. The waterfall area had become a safe haven for the girls, a place to go to when they needed to clear their heads. Leah supposes that that’s what Fatin came here to do, and though she doesn't want to intrude on her time alone, she hopes to talk to her briefly in a space away from the others.

She makes her way down the dirt slope, and spots Fatin sitting atop one of the many large boulders. Fatin doesn’t notice her, or at least if she does she doesn’t show it, so Leah makes herself known.

“Fatin!” She shouts across the lake, cupping her hands around her mouth to be heard over the noise of the water crashing down into the rocks. The other girl’s head whips around to face her, a look of concern flashing over her face. She stands up and makes her way across the boulders carefully, coming to a stop before Leah.

“Are you okay? Is anything wrong?” Fatin asks, she holds out her hands as though she’s about to hold Leah by the arms, but stops short of doing so.

“Hey I’m fine, don’t worry.” Leah frowns slightly. “Are _you_ okay?”

Fatin looks slightly taken aback at the question, and a smile is quickly plastered on her face. “What? Yeah! I’m okay. Do I not seem okay?”

“No.” Leah replies straightforwardly, and the smile is dropped just as fast as it had been put up.

“Oh.” 

There’s an awkward silence that neither of them want to be the first to break, but Leah _was_ the one to seek out the other girl, so she sucks it up and shoulders the uncomfortable act of leading the conversation. 

“I just, um, I just wanted to make sure you’re not upset.” Leah starts, unsure as to what her own mouth will say next. “You’ve been acting a little differently? Recently. I’m here to listen if you want to talk.”

But then that thought is clawing its way back up her brain again, wiggling its way in between Leah’s words. She needs to clarify the situation to put her mind at ease. “I also wanted to make sure it wasn’t because of me. I’m- I’m sorry if I upset you or did something wrong.” 

“No. No you didn’t do anything wrong.” Fatin sits down on the grassy bank and pats the spot next to her, Leah follows suit, pulling her shoes off to dip her toes in the water. 

Fatin stares straight ahead, her eyes betraying the brewing thoughts behind the stoic expression on her face. “I...have a lot on my mind.”

Leah nods even though Fatin won’t see it, she definitely knows what that feels like. 

“It kinda got a little overwhelming. Messed with my head.” Fatin sighs. “It’s not even that big of a deal.” 

“Regardless of how big or small the deal is, it might help to talk about it?” Leah suggests, keeping her voice light, eyes trained on her toes dipping in the water. “Venting helps get all that...all that overthinking out. You could write in Nora’s book too if you don’t want to talk.”

She looks at Fatin and is surprised to find her looking straight back, a small smile on her face. Leah feels her cheeks heating up, unaware that the other girl had been looking at her whilst she was talking.

She averts her eyes quickly, suddenly finding a blade of grass by her trainers very interesting.

“Thanks for the suggestion, but I think I’m ready to talk about it.” Fatin says, smile slipping off her face. She looks back across the water pensively, mouth set in a hard line. 

"Y'know, I really miss my brothers." Fatin sighs. "And I wanna say I don't miss my parents, but that'd be a massive fucking lie. I miss them. Both of them. Even if they were going to ship me off to some boarding school. Even if my dad..."

Her voice drifts off and the sentence is left unfinished as Fatin shakes her head slowly, sucking in air through her teeth, like she’s trying to avoid that thought. 

"But there's something else that's been taking up space in my head. Something unexpected." She glances over at Leah wistfully, before quickly looking away. "And I don't know how to deal with it, how to make it go away. I don't think I even _want_ it to go away, but I'm scared of how it might end if I don't."

Leah stays silent, allowing Fatin the space to talk. She tries her best to follow along given the whole vagueness of the other girl’s words.

“I mean- I’m deserted on this _shitty_ island in the middle of _fucking_ nowhere, and the only thing I can think of is- it’s not home, not my family, not even the boring ass life I have to return to, but...” Fatin trails off, slightly breathless from exertion and Leah hates how distraught she sounds. 

“What is it?” Leah speaks softly, hoping to transfer some sort of calmness. “What’s on your mind?”

Fatin finally looks her in the eye, opens her mouth to speak but stops as some look of defeat enters her expression. She looks away from Leah, her shoulders slumping slightly. “ _You_.”

Leah pauses, feels her heart flutter in her chest. “M-Me?”

“Uh yeah.” Fatin closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Yeah, Leah, you.”

A heavy silence settles between them. Fatin looks as though she’s struggling to find the words she wants to say, opening her mouth before closing it a few times.

“Don’t, uh, don’t rush yourself. Take your time.” Leah says gently. The other girl visibly relaxes and leans back, bracing herself on her arms. Leah follows her gaze and stares up at the clear sky above them, she slowly lowers herself down onto her back, eyes trained on the blue expanse before her. She clasps her hands together atop of her stomach, resisting the urge to pick at the skin around her nails.

Her. Fatin couldn’t stop thinking about her in the same way Leah couldn’t stop thinking about Fatin. It was relieving and yet also nerve wracking all at the same time. To acknowledge these feelings, and to act upon them were vastly different things.

“I never had time for a relationship. I was always practicing cello or doing some club after school, and I _liked_ it that way. It was like the flings were the one time I’d have some sort of freedom and control over my life. But then we get stranded on this island.” Fatin laughs humorlessly at their situation. “And I have all the fucking time in the world, yet I have no control.”

Leah hums, deep in thought herself. There's another lull in the conversation, well, rant may be more accurate, but it feels easy.

“I can't stop thinking about the other night.” Fatin sighs, but it’s light, subdued almost, like she’s accepted that this is happening. “About how right it felt to hold you.”

Leah stays frozen on her back, unsure as to whether she should sit up or not. She remains still, as though any sudden movements might chase the moment away.

“But I don’t want to hurt you, Leah. You’ve been hurt before. _Really_ fucking badly.” Fatin inhales shakily, emotions rising again. “And my dad he- I’m afraid I’ll turn out like- _fuck_. I don’t know if I should even say it.”

“You don’t have to tell me.” Leah interjects quickly, seeing the wave of rage mixed with fear crashing down upon Fatin’s face. “I’m not one to comment on other people’s psyche, but it doesn’t sound like you’re ready for that yet.”

Fatin nods, quickly swiping at the edge of her eyes, a quiet sniffle escapes her and nothing else.

Leah pushes herself up so she’s upright again and observes Fatin out of the corner of her eye. The other girl is lost in her thoughts, staring out at the waterfall with glazed eyes. Leah fists her hand in the grass beside her, this is probably the part where she says something.

“You're not the only one afraid of hurting others.” Leah says, voice cracking halfway through her sentence. She looks to Fatin and is met with furrowed brows and understanding eyes.

“I- I was scared it’d be Jeff all over again.” Leah fiddles with some grass she’d ripped from the ground. “I was afraid I’d become...obsessive. I was obsessed with him. I can see that now.”

She hates how his name still holds some sort of power over her, still causes some sort of effect regardless of how dull and insignificant it may be. But she finds a glimmer of hope in the fact that the heavy weight sitting at the bottom of her heart isn’t yearning for him anymore, but instead starting to feel something more like resentment towards him. Not the best way to heal by any means, but far better than the remains of an obsession that had festered and grown out of control.

”We're complete opposites. Always have been.” Leah sighs, desperately wanting to reach out and grab Fatin’s hand. “But this _island_. Everything on this island is different. We’re not ourselves here, we’re no longer the people we used to be. Which, I mean, is probably ‘cause of all the near death situations we’ve been through.”

Fatin smiles at that, it’s an encouraging action that pushes Leah to continue despite the anxiety in the pit of her stomach.

“Still it’s, in a weird sort of way, a positive change. I mean, half the time I’m going off the fucking rails.” That garners a fuller laugh from Fatin which makes Leah smile wider. “But I’ve seen a difference in the other girls over time. This place is changing us, and I know I’m crazy, but I think it may be for good.”

Leah pushes down the paranoia that’s rising from deep within her. She wants to tell Fatin about her theories, about why they came in pairs and why Jeanette, the only girl alone, died. But no, now wasn’t the time to discuss it. She finds it easier to dismiss these ideas in Fatin’s presence, her mind becoming preoccupied with the other girl instead. 

“A-Anyways what I mean is, I don’t know what the fuck will happen if- when we get off. But I know that right now, I like you. A _lot_.” Leah blushes, pulling the sleeves of her cardigan over her hands. “And I don’t want to risk going another day without you knowing that. If we don’t make it to tomorrow, at least I would’ve died saying everything I wanted to say.”

Leah connects her eyes with Fatin, and though time moves painfully slowly here, something about Fatin makes it move even slower in a way that Leah savours.

“You...are such a romantic.” Fatin finally says, laughing with a shake of her head. “I’m gonna let that cheesy line slide this _one_ time.”

Leah wracks her brain for an even cheesier line, and her smile widens as she finds one. “Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.”

Fatin groans in mock annoyance but her smile never falters. She throws an arm around the other girl and pulls her close, her other hand cradling the back of Leah’s neck. Leah pushes closer, closing her eyes as she rests her head against Fatin’s collarbone. She sighs contently, the feeling of Fatin stroking her thumb softly across her jaw is heavenly. Leah doesn’t want to become dependent on it, her touch, she’s done with emotional dependency in general, but for now it’s something she knows she needs to help her get through this.

Fatin kisses the crown of Leah’s head, then presses another one on her forehead. She places a finger under Leah’s chin and tilts her head up, and two more featherlight kisses are laid upon her temple and cheek.

Leah opens her eyes languidly, looking at the girl before her who feels so much like safety. Who reminds her of home, and of a first love she was robbed of.

“I’m gonna try something…” She whispers, nose nudging gently against Fatin’s.

The other girl smirks, pushing closer so their lips barely graze each other. “Please do.”

Leah could wax poetry about the tentative first kiss that feels all at once overwhelming and not enough. She could write anthologies upon anthologies on the second kiss that follows the first, about how chapped lips and sunburnt skin are merely nothing in the grand scheme of things. Leah thinks she could even write an epic on how Fatin feels a lot more like _protection_ rather than danger, and it is far better than the thrill of being discovered could ever be.

But she knows that regardless of how many words from the english language she strings together, nothing could ever come close to the actual experience. The soft gasps exchanged between them as nervous hands find purchase on strong arms and soft waists, and when Fatin pulls back to give Leah that dazzling smile of hers, there is an understanding between them that this is _good_. 

This is healing.

This is a love that they deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo this was not meant to be this long but then I got hung up on the small details and it got out of hand...as most things I write do 😬
> 
> also it got intensely romantic near the end for some reason idk guys i just rlly love romance okay!! I hope you enjoyed reading this, let me know what you thought in the comments! :)
> 
> have a great morning/evening/insert time of day in your country

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me why I always fall for the non-canon ships??? Latin kind of has my entire heart right now (maybe even more than shoni does oops) so I banged this out pretty damn quickly. Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Every kudos and comment left is greatly appreciated. Let me know what you thought!


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